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A man who attempts with his time, money, devotion, endurance… to fulfill every possible desire and need of a Woman who interests him, a man who puts that Woman on a pedestal, would have been referred to in a kinder, different time as a ‘romantic.’

This modern man who would get down on his knee (or knees) to propose a union between the Woman he adores and himself would most likely be considered a wimp (at best), today, though. In fact, for today’s man to express his absolute devotion to a Woman could brand him a ‘pervert’ or even result in his arrest as a ‘sexual deviant’.

“I love you with the very soul of my being and wish to be your faithful husband,” says the modern man on his knees before his love. “I promise to serve you, place you above me at all times, tend to your most personal needs and desires, should you accept me as your partner. I understand that even though I wish to remain totally monogamous to you, I neither expect nor desire the same commitment from you, your own pleasures in this proposed shared life together more of concern to me than my own personal desires or needs.”

That there, friends, today , is a certified ‘pervert,’ rather than a ‘romantic,’ according to standards demanded by, as they say, “the powers that be,” some of which I’ll call Jesse Helms, his followers, Promise Keepers, the majority of mainstream media, relationship ‘advice’ columnists…and a number of other anti-Woman groups and individuals.

A quite large number of men find the utmost pleasure in catering to the needs and desires of Women. I obviously am among them. We males of that persuasion are, however, mostly misunderstood, dismissed by mainstream as ‘fetishists,’ perverts and wimps.

So, to clarify, I am NOT speaking of males who seek, even pay to be a submissive to females. That is NOT what this is about. Bondage, whips, domination play no part in our lives. Hopefully, that will rule out the fetish and pervert labels as applied to us. As to us being wimps: We are firemen, soldiers, cops, high-steel workers….

Although I cannot speak for all men of my persuasion, my idea of a permanent, ideal relationship would be one in which the Woman would feel highly enough of herself that she EXPECTED the man to be more concerned with her satisfaction than with his own; one, for example, in which the Woman would ACCEPT the man being completely monogamous to her while she was free to have other sexual partners if she chose to.

If a Woman, a wife, wants to spend the weekend in the mountains with a lover while her husband remains faithfully at home (willingly), that TOO is catering to her satisfaction and therefore part of the deal. Woman, far more spiritual a being than man, deserves far more pleasures than man. If one of those pleasures is use of a man for extramarital sexual satisfaction, Woman should feel free to have one or more ‘boytoys’ for that purpose, many of us ‘special’ males believe.

Regarding the above, many males who believe as I do, if interested in a particular Woman, would simply tell her that our preference is to please a Woman in any way that she would find most pleasurable. Our true *fetish* is to help a Woman find satisfaction, release from tension…and (ah, yes ‘pervert’ me/us) pleasure in any experience–first–then concern ourselves with our own needs second (including our own sexual needs), without any outright lies from either party necessary.

I and many like-minded males enjoy furnishing pleasure to Women (this does not necessarily mean sexual, though; pleasuring a Woman can take many forms: A fine dinner, dancing with her, listening to her without interruption…).

Many call me (at the very least) a feminist for my beliefs. Often said in a derogatory manner, especially if the word is formed by male lips. I thank them for the compliment. I AM a feminist. I just wish I could find more true feminist Women out there, since true feminist Women are Women who like themselves, and I love Women who like themselves.

(I do not consider anti-sex, anti-male ‘feminists’ to be true to the cause of female empowerment and equality with men, since preaching hatred of men and intentional neglect of a Woman’s basic sexual desires and fantasies is, to me, a denial of both humanity and reality.).

A problem with this writer and other like-minded men in our relationships with females has been with the Woman not realizing her true worth and being too concerned with my/our needs over hers, instead. She believes she is not destined by religion or nature to accept our complete devotion to her. Unbelievable to many, but true.

Another (and closely related) thorn in the side of this and other like-minded men has been to convince Women that we are real in the first place, possibly our hardest assignment… Yet we fully exist. In numbers that could frightened “the powers that be.” If mainstream media would but allow our words in its print or through its broadcasts.

In that event, though:

  • A unit of humanity that excels in love, understanding, forgiveness, intelligence and hope…
  • A portion of humankind that seldom gets but deserves the respect and admiration of its other half…
  • The human gender that is superior, in most ways positive and all matters important, to its counterpart…


Author’s Note: The writer’s capitalization in this article of the word Woman is merely a sign of respect on his part. That small thing I can do for her.

Greg Smith is the author of over 800 articles and recipient of numerous journalism awards. He often writes of the small voices among us, the everyday heroes.