Category: Love on the Rocks

Summer Love – Moving On When It's Over

The days are shorter and cooler. A tune begins to play on the radio. You can feel your heart tighten. What used to be just a background melody has become your song, and you are left wondering how and why something so wonderful had to end so fast? The feelings of sadness are almost overwhelming as you reflect on the intense love affair you never expected to find and now feel completely lost without. Continue reading Summer Love – Moving On When It's Over

DUMPED!!!

You thought it was love. The real thing. Perhaps the two of you shared the same feelings, but you don’t now, and you’ve just been dumped. You feel as though you’ve been dropped into a cold dark hole. Alone. Life is no longer fun. No one can understand your pain. No one. Continue reading DUMPED!!!

Creativity

Imagine driving your car down a peaceful, quiet country road, passing farm after farm. You are totally in tune with the rhythm of the road as it radiates throughout your vehicle. Your body and mind are quiet and relaxed, yet at the same time you’re fully alert – almost like being at one with your car and the surrounding environment. Continue reading Creativity

The Divorce Culture – Finding No Fault

So, you might be wondering, what’s this historical social-studies stuff have to do with your divorce? Everything! In 1969, California was the first state to enact “no-fault” divorce laws. An avalanche of legal reforms followed throughout the country that allowed us to leave our marriage vows behind, almost effortlessly, without requiring a judge to find fault with the party leaving or being left. Continue reading The Divorce Culture – Finding No Fault

The Divorce Culture – The Good Divorce

Let’s face it: No mature person gets married thinking it will end in divorce. I never met a client or person who thought divorce was a fun thing. It’s often dreadful, difficult, and demanding. But sometimes it’s simply necessary. In many circumstances, it’s the only way to save your sanity, and maybe, in the worst case, your safety. Continue reading The Divorce Culture – The Good Divorce

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Relating to Your Wife

Between the decision to divorce and the physical separation, you and your wife are stranded between two worlds: your past life together and your future lives apart. It is only natural during this period of limbo that emotions run high. Even the slightest miscue can lead to an explosion that could irrevocably damage your chances at a good divorce. The problem is that, because the relationship has changed, it is hard to know how to act. Continue reading A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Relating to Your Wife

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Managing Your Finances

Needless battles over money derail more divorces in the early stages than any other issue. Money is a source of power, so to be without money makes us feel powerless. At this point in your divorce, you want to avoid any behavior that will frighten your wife about money. Here are some simple rules. Continue reading A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Managing Your Finances

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Parenting & Social Issues

At this stage of your divorce, it’s critical to maintain the parenting status quo. If your wife has been the parent in charge of the children, now is not the time to assert your equality as a parent. Your relative parenting roles will be negotiated soon, and in your anxiety to maintain your role as father, do not precipitate threatening struggles over the children. Continue reading A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Parenting & Social Issues

Joined at the Heart – The Transformation of the American Family

The Fadleys’ story offers a vivid illustration of how much the American family has changed over the past two generations. Both Dick and Susan were born in the early 1960s — he in 1961, she in 1962 — which proved to be the fault line of an era. America in the period right after World War II for the most part seemed conservative, traditional, and homogeneous. Continue reading Joined at the Heart – The Transformation of the American Family

Love and Tears – The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

I left you hanging with the preparations to travel to JoAnne’s and what it felt like. I took the train to the City. It didn’t take more than about 90 minutes to get there. I had to transfer to the Metro and take one of those colored lines out to her particular part of suburbia. She had given me her cell phone number (just in case she wasn’t at the station when I got there). She wasn’t. Continue reading Love and Tears – The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

Is It Really A Breakup? The First Few Days

From the first moment that you have the wind knocked out of you by hearing in one way or another that the relationship is over, you must ruthlessly prioritize doing as little as possible. By that I mean you must accept that you are in shock and that you should expect nothing from yourself other than to keep breathing. Even that may seem like a stretch, but you can do it. Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? The First Few Days

Is It Really A Breakup? Shared Pets

This mostly comes up if you live together, though some people share pets without living together. Common sense dictates that, with rare exception, if the pet belonged to one of you coming into the relationship, it should leave the relationship with that person, even if it now feels as if the pet belongs to both of you. With a mutually acquired pet, if he has broken up with you, etiquette dictates that the choice is yours. So if you feel that having the pet around is going to make you feel better, keep it and say that in a month you will be willing to discuss a more joint arrangement. Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? Shared Pets

Is It Really A Breakup? Work, Or Getting Out Of It

Unless you are among the very lucky or very unlucky, you have a job. If your boss or your clients are cool, you can tell them that you and so-and-so are over and you need a few days to get yourself together. Be careful here. Most bosses and most clients are not cool, even though they pretend to be. Revealing any vulnerability may come back to haunt you later. If in doubt, lying is best. Isn’t this worse than a cold? Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? Work, Or Getting Out Of It

Is It Really A Breakup? Friends – Reaching Out

As I’ve said, it’s essential to get in touch with one or several close friends immediately. It is wise to call someone who is a very tolerant listener because you are not ready to have a real conversation just yet. For now, skip calling anyone who is going to lecture you on how he or she knew this would happen, or on how much of a jerk your ex was, or both. Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? Friends – Reaching Out

Refusing to Get Caught Up in the Blame Game

One of the things Rush Limbaugh is famous for is talking about the influence of the liberal media. He says that for the most part, all the information we get from the media (Television, Radio, and Newspapers) is slanted and biased. I want to go a step further with this and say ALL the information we get from anybody is slanted and biased — towards the person delivering the message. Continue reading Refusing to Get Caught Up in the Blame Game

Thoughts from "The Other Woman"

My friend Janna and I were reminiscing about what we called “the good old days” over lunch last week. That’s what we call the time when she and I were married. Oh, not to each other, of course! We both had husbands, about the same age, about the same economic level, they were our college sweethearts, we were all college friends, that sort of thing. It was the start of “and they lived happily ever after.” Continue reading Thoughts from "The Other Woman"