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The Divorce Culture – What Happened?

“If divorce has increased by one thousand percent, don’t blame the women’s movement. Blame the obsolete sex roles on which our marriages were based.” -Betty Friedan Continue reading

The Divorce Culture – Finding No Fault

So, you might be wondering, what’s this historical social-studies stuff have to do with your divorce? Everything! In 1969, California was the first state to enact “no-fault” divorce laws. An avalanche of legal reforms followed throughout the country that allowed us to leave our marriage vows behind, almost effortlessly, without requiring a judge to find fault with the party leaving or being left. Continue reading

The Divorce Culture – The Good Divorce

Let’s face it: No mature person gets married thinking it will end in divorce. I never met a client or person who thought divorce was a fun thing. It’s often dreadful, difficult, and demanding. But sometimes it’s simply necessary. In many circumstances, it’s the only way to save your sanity, and maybe, in the worst case, your safety. Continue reading

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Relating to Your Wife

Between the decision to divorce and the physical separation, you and your wife are stranded between two worlds: your past life together and your future lives apart. It is only natural during this period of limbo that emotions run high. Even the slightest miscue can lead to an explosion that could irrevocably damage your chances at a good divorce. The problem is that, because the relationship has changed, it is hard to know how to act. Continue reading

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Managing Your Finances

Needless battles over money derail more divorces in the early stages than any other issue. Money is a source of power, so to be without money makes us feel powerless. At this point in your divorce, you want to avoid any behavior that will frighten your wife about money. Here are some simple rules. Continue reading

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Parenting & Social Issues

At this stage of your divorce, it’s critical to maintain the parenting status quo. If your wife has been the parent in charge of the children, now is not the time to assert your equality as a parent. Your relative parenting roles will be negotiated soon, and in your anxiety to maintain your role as father, do not precipitate threatening struggles over the children. Continue reading

Joined at the Heart – Family Redefined

Book Excerpt: Joined at the Heart: The Transformation of the American Family by Al and Tipper Gore.

Chapter 1 : Family Redefined

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Joined at the Heart – The Transformation of the American Family

The Fadleys’ story offers a vivid illustration of how much the American family has changed over the past two generations. Both Dick and Susan were born in the early 1960s — he in 1961, she in 1962 — which proved to be the fault line of an era. America in the period right after World War II for the most part seemed conservative, traditional, and homogeneous. Continue reading

Joined at the Heart – The Consequences of Divorce

Now let’s slow the story down again and look at a crucial trend that began to emerge into public view during the 1960s: the rising incidence of divorce. Continue reading