Many singles such as myself exist day today without constant company and do quite well. Why is it, then, that travel must absolutely be otherwise?
My friend Robert, a single fellow, over luncheon of smothered grouper, peas and rice, and ice tea, recently said he had made but one resolution for ‘97: “Just do it!” This 50-year-old wasn’t speaking of hoop shots, goal shots or bank shots (does a billiard player wear athletic shoes?). Travel was the subject.
Let Robert explain it:
“Last year I didn’t get to Alaska and Costa Rica, as I had planned, waiting for travel companions who failed to show. Trips like these have to be planned well in advance if they are to be reasonably priced and cover the areas of interest. Others said they wanted to go, but when it came to the real decision making, they dropped the ball and I gave up trying.
“This year, like I said, I’m going to ‘Just do it’ as the shoe company’s ads put it. I might, once I’ve made my plans, announce to friends that I’m going and they’re invited to tag along. But first and foremost, I’m going!”
Like all too many single travellers, Robert shares the desire for companionship when travelling. And like too many, Robert often misses the boat because of his reluctance to go without company. If it’s a big consideration for a man, what must it be for a woman facing the prospect of travelling into the unknown with a boat, bus or train full of unknowns? Awesome, I might guess.
Yet many singles such as myself exist day to day without constant company and do quite well. Why is it, then, that travel must absolutely be otherwise? Certainly one answer we can lift from the previous paragraph, fear of the unknown, which is more handily attacked when accompanied.
Robert and I explored the subject to some depth, his recognizing my interest in travel and in particular single travel. It’s almost the only handicap the single person seems to have, we agreed, the want for company on tour. That’s in the planning stage, though more often than not the right tour produces a bonus of friendships acquired among the fellow passengers.
Yes, we agreed, renting a flat in London for a month and then finding friends within the neighborhood is equally difficult to finding friends of like interests in one’s own home place. So the London flat or Costa Del Sol villa might have its own problems for finding those to share in the experience, but there remains extensive travel opportunities which have every possibility for enjoying the experience with others. Uppermost in mind is cruising and group touring. What do the fellow passengers on a cruise boat or a train safari of Southeast Africa have in common with the single traveler? Must I note the obvious?
Now we come to the second-most objectionable facet of single travel: the single supplement charged by tours and cruises for those occupying space sold as double occupancy. At least that’s what Robert and I thought would be an objection, neither of us wishing to share a room with a stranger for even one night, let alone the length of a tour or cruise. That’s not to say that there are not those who do share a room with a stranger, generally of the same gender, in order to enjoy the fruits of travel economically. Many of them have great stories to tell. The greatest story, however, is when the room partner cancels or fails to show and the traveller ends up with the accommodation all to him or herself.
Robert’s “Just Do It” syndrome dictates that he will pay the fare, unfair as it may be, in order to get in the travelling he’s bound and determined to do. We discussed the cost factor, realizing that many cruise and tour companies have the “ole single supplement” priced at about one half the price of a full fare, or, to go, the single traveller is charged a one and one half fare. We recalled too that where air passage is included in the travel plans, the air fare is just for the one, not one and a half. It’s only the accommodations, such as the cruise ship cabin and the four star hotel room, that earns the 150 percent rate. In any case, the single traveller must bite the single supplement bullet if he or she wishes to go without a companion with whom to share the costs.
It is true, I should note, that your better travel agencies generally do have a list of others who wish to travel and are looking for travel partners with whom to share the cost. In amongst them might be a good match. There are other possibilities as well which your travel agent knows about and will explore with their prospective clients. Some ships, for instance, have single rooms, or special single programs.
One such is the very fine Holland America Line. Globus and Cosmos, both with tour itineraries, have singles programs such as “guaranteed share rates,” and accept reservations on the guarantee, charging the basic price and matching up singles with a same sex travel partner in a twin bed “nonsmoking” room. If Cosmos can’t make the match, the single who has reserved will be accommodated in a single room at no extra charge.
The highlight of our conversations, Robert’s and myself, was the approach to unaccompanied travel. First, go with the assumption that there will be no one with whom you truly identify. While you’ll recognize some and they’ll recognize you, there might not be a single opportunity for an acquaintance. Of course there will be dinner partners, and often times there will be a party at the outset for the introduction of single travellers, from which to draw at least nodding acquaintance.
To fill the void, take your hobby with you, if you can. If you enjoy photography, that’s a good one. Tour books on the places visited and to be visited are important as well in order for you to become conversational on the destinations. If you draw, wonderful. If you want to learn to draw, here’s the opportunity with a sketch pad and instructional book. A coin collector will have his or her research and will look for coins in each destination visited that represent the excursion.
The list is endless and limited only by the extent of one’s imagination. The idea is to have a personal purpose to fill the time between shipboard entertainment or “days on your own” while touring. It often times will prove that all of these prearrangements will have been for not because one’s fellow passengers prove interesting and interested and there’s no time to be alone. Being prepared for the alternatives is the best solution to avoiding the fear of the unknown.
Finally, make travel plans early and enjoy the discounts for early booking. Devote quality time to a study of the destinations you have in mind, and equally the means of conveyance. That’s fulfilling the old adage, “anticipation is nine tenths the pleasure.”
Then “just do it!” and relish the memories in years to come.
One lady mentioned to this writer recently that she recaptured a moment in time when she heard Deana Carter’s hit country song, “We Danced Anyway,” it having reminded her of a trip to Spain in the mid 1970’s as a single and the wonderful evenings she recalled dancing with friends to “songs we’d never heard, we never understood the words, we just sang oh la la la la la la la la la la oh, we danced away.” “Thank goodness,” she said, on mentioning the thrust of this issue’s column, “we just did it, and it was long before Nike’s slogan.”
Dana Borders is the pen name of a travel writer living in the Bahamas.