Is It Really A Breakup? Friends – Reaching Out

As I’ve said, it’s essential to get in touch with one or several close friends immediately. It is wise to call someone who is a very tolerant listener because you are not ready to have a real conversation just yet. For now, skip calling anyone who is going to lecture you on how he or she knew this would happen, or on how much of a jerk your ex was, or both.

It is also best to call someone who won’t mind if you are incapable of stringing together complete sentences, or if you are mostly just sobbing and dry heaving. If there isn’t anyone this angelic in your circle of close friends, make your best choice. Also, if you can’t reach the person you want to talk to, leave her a message to call you and then move on to calling other friends to keep yourself busy until your top choice calls you back.

One important note, when leaving messages on friends’ answering machines or if you are crying when you first get friends on the phone: However badly you are doing, try to croak out the words “broke up.” Not to say that you are not in a serious crisis, but you don’t want your friends to worry that a loved one has died, even if it feels a little that way.

©2003 Delphine Hirsh

Excerpt from The Girls’ Guide to Surviving A Breakup a book packed full of information to keep you going when he gets going. Order your copy today! Delphine Hirsh is a veteran of many breakups and is also a consultant to heartbroken friends nationwide. A thirty-two-year-old native New Yorker and a graduate of Princeton University, she currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband.