Success! Well, at least partly. You’ve hooked a prospect, a potential date. Someone has shown interest because of your outstanding online dating profile.
Now for that all-important, first big step: the introductory email. Alternatively, you’re reaching out. You’ve found someone you’re interested in and want to shine. You need… yes, that’s right, a great introductory email.
Whether you’re responding to an email or initiating one, you have a chance to create a great first impression. And, one thing is certain. Only the first time can be a first impression.
The pressure’s on. But don’t cave. You have the ability to write that stellar first email, even if writing is not your strong suit.
First, take a little time to respond. Most people don’t expect an email response from a stranger within a couple of hours. If you’re responding, you have a couple of days to think about what you want to say and how.
If you’re writing to someone whose profile you’ve seen, you have even more time. But you don’t want to wait too long, especially before writing to a new member. Others can see that same profile and may get that person’s interest first.
Approach it like a business letter or a college essay, in one way but not in another. In one respect, you want to send something polished.
You don’t want to sound like an idiot and you need to put your best foot forward. But it shouldn’t be totally impersonal, lecturing or nothing but flat, factual information about you. Nor should it sound like a series of interview questions you’re asking the recipient.
You need to show some interest in that person, in a humorous or intriguing way. You need to reveal facts and values about yourself, in a humorous or intriguing way. The common theme is: you need to be interesting.
That’s best accomplished by being slightly out of the norm, but not weird. Unless the latter is what you’re looking for. Most people fall within a range, but are looking for someone a little different from those they’ve met so far. That’s why they’re still looking.
You need to show that you are interested, without sounding desperate. A writer once wrote: ‘desperation has the worst odor of all’.
Just like getting a job, you want to show you want the job, but have something to offer other than your need. The first contact in an online dating situation is similar. The difference is the issue is much more personal and you can (and should) be less formal.
It’s a balancing act, to be sure. But steady yourself, curb those raging emotions and think clearly. Then write a few samples and discard the first two. Then, be bold.
Send it off. Remember, they’re seeking someone too. The fact that you chose them is both complimentary and a good indicator that you have something in common.
At least, you think so. Now, persuade them to agree.