Merging After Fifty

“What’re we gonna do with this crummy old throw rug,” he asked as we prepared to merge households.

“We’re going to hang it on the wall,” was my quick response.

“Do what?” he curtly queried.

“Hang it on the wall. That’s a Muslim prayer rug,” was my equally quick and firm response, “it’s one of a kind and valued at about two thousand dollars.”

“Oh,” he mused incredulously as he got the equipment to hang it wherever I suggested.

And, so, a merger after fifty was begun!

An Exciting Journey

Happy sparks had flown when we first met. Curiosity was aroused and eyes were opened to the possibility of a new relationship. Looming was one of those exciting journeys that can happen no matter your age. We were in our sixties, both spouseless and not really looking for a new partner. But, eyes met easily and hands felt warm and familiar. It can happen at any age.

“Who is this person,” you ask yourself. Why do our meetings feel so comfortable? What do we have in common? Am I really open to a new relationship?

When such feelings and questions enter your thought processes, you may be ready for an incredible journey into a totally new experience. If you are mature enough for give more than you get, and the match is right, you’ll get more than you give.

When Maturity Begins

Maturity begins when you stop getting and start giving. And, maturity has nothing to do with age. But, if you have not acquired it somewhere between twenty and seventy, you may never make it.

Be ready for a give and take experience with each giving and receiving. Sharing your life with another can enhance your joys and diminish your problems. Sharing your life with another is a privilege. I recommend it!

Here in the later years of your life you should examine your flexibility. Are you ready to learn new things, eat new foods, take on new interests, give up old habits for new ones, merge your tastes.

Are you ready to give more than you receive? Are you ready to go eighty percent of the way in a fifty/fifty relationship? If you are, go for it!

In a happy relationship, caring for one another becomes your prime interest. The “for better or for worse” of the marriage vows means just what it says. It feels good to know that someone is always there for you as you are for them. Don’t just assume that this is the way it will be. Plan to work at it!

Great Rewards

The rewards are greater than you might imagine. My merger came at age sixty-seven. I was an independent business woman and my partner was a successful entrepreneur who came from a strong family that included four grown children.

What did we have in common? Reading, political orientation, television programming, creativity, and a growing spiritual development. He loved words and writing and quickly learned to appreciate my love for classical music. My people interests and gregariousness brought out his leadership abilities and used them in good causes.

The first year of your merger can have some funny, unusual, even hilarious moments, so a good sense of humor helps. But, then, life is truly an adventure, isn’t it!

© Florence R. Hughes