Falling In Love

Falling in love! What a romantic phrase! What magical words! Does it not bring a smile to your face when you hear those sweet words? It doesn’t bring a smile to my face. I have coldly analyzed that well worn phrase and here is what I have discovered. Continue reading Falling In Love

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Relating to Your Wife

Between the decision to divorce and the physical separation, you and your wife are stranded between two worlds: your past life together and your future lives apart. It is only natural during this period of limbo that emotions run high. Even the slightest miscue can lead to an explosion that could irrevocably damage your chances at a good divorce. The problem is that, because the relationship has changed, it is hard to know how to act. Continue reading A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Relating to Your Wife

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Managing Your Finances

Needless battles over money derail more divorces in the early stages than any other issue. Money is a source of power, so to be without money makes us feel powerless. At this point in your divorce, you want to avoid any behavior that will frighten your wife about money. Here are some simple rules. Continue reading A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Managing Your Finances

A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Parenting & Social Issues

At this stage of your divorce, it’s critical to maintain the parenting status quo. If your wife has been the parent in charge of the children, now is not the time to assert your equality as a parent. Your relative parenting roles will be negotiated soon, and in your anxiety to maintain your role as father, do not precipitate threatening struggles over the children. Continue reading A Man’s Guide to a Civilized Divorce – Parenting & Social Issues

Joined at the Heart – The Transformation of the American Family

The Fadleys’ story offers a vivid illustration of how much the American family has changed over the past two generations. Both Dick and Susan were born in the early 1960s — he in 1961, she in 1962 — which proved to be the fault line of an era. America in the period right after World War II for the most part seemed conservative, traditional, and homogeneous. Continue reading Joined at the Heart – The Transformation of the American Family

Love and Tears – The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

I left you hanging with the preparations to travel to JoAnne’s and what it felt like. I took the train to the City. It didn’t take more than about 90 minutes to get there. I had to transfer to the Metro and take one of those colored lines out to her particular part of suburbia. She had given me her cell phone number (just in case she wasn’t at the station when I got there). She wasn’t. Continue reading Love and Tears – The Difference Between Fantasy and Reality

Love Online

Looking for the newest way to meet people? Want to expand your circle of friends into the rest of the world? Want a relationship without entanglements? Join the Internet crowd in Cyberspace. It had to happen, computers turning into our link to virtual friends and lovers. It’s the “now” way to solve the age-old dating dilemna. Continue reading Love Online

Diving Into The Dating Pool… Again

Learning to date again after having been in a marriage or other long term relationship can be challenging. It’s easier to get back into the dating pool when you have friends who are getting into it with you. If you’ve been in a long committed relationship you may not have any single friends — yet. Keep your eyes open because finding suitable single friends should be your first priority. Along the way you may also find your next love connection. Continue reading Diving Into The Dating Pool… Again

Ode To Jenny

She talks and talks and talks… Spitting out a torrent of words. Drowning me in noise. Stopping only to catch her breath. Providing me not with a moment of silence to respond. Imprisoning me with her chattering. Praying for the strength to be patient and understanding. Continue reading Ode To Jenny

Is It Really A Breakup? The First Few Days

From the first moment that you have the wind knocked out of you by hearing in one way or another that the relationship is over, you must ruthlessly prioritize doing as little as possible. By that I mean you must accept that you are in shock and that you should expect nothing from yourself other than to keep breathing. Even that may seem like a stretch, but you can do it. Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? The First Few Days

Is It Really A Breakup? Shared Pets

This mostly comes up if you live together, though some people share pets without living together. Common sense dictates that, with rare exception, if the pet belonged to one of you coming into the relationship, it should leave the relationship with that person, even if it now feels as if the pet belongs to both of you. With a mutually acquired pet, if he has broken up with you, etiquette dictates that the choice is yours. So if you feel that having the pet around is going to make you feel better, keep it and say that in a month you will be willing to discuss a more joint arrangement. Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? Shared Pets

Is It Really A Breakup? Work, Or Getting Out Of It

Unless you are among the very lucky or very unlucky, you have a job. If your boss or your clients are cool, you can tell them that you and so-and-so are over and you need a few days to get yourself together. Be careful here. Most bosses and most clients are not cool, even though they pretend to be. Revealing any vulnerability may come back to haunt you later. If in doubt, lying is best. Isn’t this worse than a cold? Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? Work, Or Getting Out Of It

Is It Really A Breakup? Friends – Reaching Out

As I’ve said, it’s essential to get in touch with one or several close friends immediately. It is wise to call someone who is a very tolerant listener because you are not ready to have a real conversation just yet. For now, skip calling anyone who is going to lecture you on how he or she knew this would happen, or on how much of a jerk your ex was, or both. Continue reading Is It Really A Breakup? Friends – Reaching Out

The Question of When to Say Yes

Being newly single means having to sooner or later face the delicate question of whether or not to have a sexual relationship before commitment. As a mature single, the rules and guidelines that guided you in your early single life may no longer apply or they might need updating. For the person whose personal, religious or moral convictions dictate sex within marriage only, there is no answer but one: NO!! Not unless we’re married. For the vast majority of singles the issue of when to enter into a sexual relationship is much more complicated. Continue reading The Question of When to Say Yes

Refusing to Get Caught Up in the Blame Game

One of the things Rush Limbaugh is famous for is talking about the influence of the liberal media. He says that for the most part, all the information we get from the media (Television, Radio, and Newspapers) is slanted and biased. I want to go a step further with this and say ALL the information we get from anybody is slanted and biased — towards the person delivering the message. Continue reading Refusing to Get Caught Up in the Blame Game

The Rules for Online Dating

Rule 19: Keep Your Ad Up Until You Are Exclusive

Women take down their ads prematurely. They have two dates with a guy and think “He’s the one, that’s it for me, I don’t want to meet anyone else,” or they want to show Mr. Right on their third date that they are committed to him and him alone by taking down their ad. We think this is a big mistake. Regardless of the reason, we think the only time to take down your ad is when you are exclusive, he has said “I love you,” or he has asked you to take down your ad-and he has taken his down too! Continue reading The Rules for Online Dating

The Scorecard

Relationships are to women what football is to men. Women like to read about relationships, talk about relationships, dissect relationships, even root for and against them. They argue over trick plays and strategies, and on occasion, offer their insights to close friends once they have proven successful. And just as in football, women also wear protective padding when necessary. Continue reading The Scorecard